The Cortisol Kids

I think that my hockey fandom is unhealthy. Seriously, these games really shouldn’t matter so much to me but I just can’t help it. I partially blame my wife. Here’s how a conversation with her should go:

ME:        I’m so tightly wound up… I really don’t know what to do with myself.

ERIKA:   Lighten up Paul. It’s just a game, the sun will come up tomorrow, and everything will be ok.

Instead, this much more likely the response:

ME:        I’m so tightly wound up… I really don’t know what to do with myself.

ERIKA:   Did you wear that jersey last game? Maybe that’s the problem. I ate the same lunch as I did the last time they won, I’m hoping that helps.

It’s hilarious. We’re two obsessed fans who have an inordinate amount of interest in these games, and we just feed off of each other. Every game it’s a tensefest where we try to see whose cortisol levels can get to the point where their adrenal glands actually explode. At one point during the game I was so wound up that I remarked to Erika that if an alien burst out of my stomach and screeched in my face I would probably stare at it for 2 seconds before turning my attention back to the game with barely a thought of “so that’s why my stomach hurt so much”.

Oh well. We’re up 3-2 and that’s what matters. As does the fact that I didn’t throw up at work yet. Bring on game 6!

Post Script

Day 6 of my 90 days of blogging, and today I’m trying to post this via email. Apparently I can just send a mail to a specific email address and ba-boom! Instant post. This is also how I’d go about sending posts from my phone. I’m going to go ahead and say that I’m pretty sketchy about this actually working the first time through. If there’s anything I’ve come to believe about technology in 12 years working with computers it’s that:

a)      Computers only do exactly what you tell them

b)      You have no idea what you’re actually telling them because the instructions were hard coded by a guy at 3am after a month of 70 hour weeks and he never factored in that you would want to back up your computer over wi-fi while watching YouTube and downloading virus-riddled movies over bit torrent.

 

Realistically, most of our interaction with computers come from us trying to do something, realizing that didn’t work, then learning the workaround that does work. Rarely is anything a 1:1 “I wanted to do something and it worked”. So while I’m certain that I may be able to post this over email, I think it’s much more likely that I have done something wrong, and will shortly discover what that is. The fun part for you, the viewer, is that I intend to just leave those errors up. You may bask in my shame, as I work out how to make this happen.

 

If this doesn’t go up at all I may have to revise my plan…

The Multiverse is Out to Get Me

Ok, so a few days ago I posted how much confidence I have in the Canucks and that I believe them now. That it’s not hyperbole and they really are the guys who are going to bring Vancouver the cup. So what do they do? They punch me in the neck. Why? I'll tell you why: The Multiverse.

There’s a theory in physics that every possible outcome from a given situation spawns a new Universe. So in one Universe you go left, in another you go right. This extends to everything that may potentially happen. Maybe a leaf falls, maybe it doesn’t. Two Universes. Obviously this means that there is an infinite number of Universes, since there’s pretty much an infinite number of things that could happen between The “Big Bang” and “Whatever Happens When We Literally Run Out of Time”.

But wait, there’s more! There’s also consciousness (getting a bit more metaphysical here), and in some schools of thought your consciousness just wanders through the multiverse following “the path of least resistance”, aka the most probable outcome of any situation. So while it’s theoretically possible to suddenly develop telepathic powers and direct them at the unsuspecting ladies of the world, it’s much more likely that you’ll learn a few magic tricks and discover that whipping them out at the bar has the same success rate as whipping out… well, you know.

So here’s the thing: Why does my consciousness follow the freaking path where the Canucks must repeatedly build me up and KICK ME IN THE FACE! I want to believe, and trust me, I still think we’re going to win in 7. But the fact that this, of all things, is the most probable path for my consciousness to take through the multiverse is complete and utter bullshit.

I still believe in the Canucks. But I’m mad as hell at the Universe.

Easing Up a Smidge

The thought occured to me that if I blog every day, I may potentially end up teaching myself to write crappy. I like writing well, and I like making jokes. If I write every day for 90 days I'm probably going to suffer on either the quality or humour fronts. So I've decided that I'm still going to write every day, but am going to tone it down on most of the days, and give 'er on others. Keep coming back though... I'm just not going to force it!

On that note, see you tomorrow folks!

This thought has been brought to you by a very tired Paul who just wants to go to bed.

Halo... is it me you're looking 4?

One of the hardest things about working in the games industry is keeping your dang mouth shut. We are by definition creative people. In fact, the path that got me into games started with a realization that I didn’t enjoy the job I had at the moment because there was no creative element there (a very long time ago I was a Systems Analyst for the Canadian Department of Justice). The downside to having that creative itch is that you want to share those creations with other people. Oh sure, there are creators out there who say they “do it for themselves”. Personally I don’t buy it, given that those people most often sell their work, in which case they’re also explicitly stating what it’s worth to other people (If I had to point a finger at someone who may actually believe that sentiment it’s George Lucas, because God knows that guy isn’t making movies for anyone I’ve ever met). Truth be told, I want to make really high quality stuff that will be seen by as many people as possible. By the way, I believe the first part of that sentence leads to the second.

When it comes to games, the hard part is the gestation period. In this day and age it takes a while to make a game, especially when you set your bar high. The creative process can make some absolutely delicious sausage, but you really don’t want to eat it before it’s ready. And so we wait. We are creators working in relative obscurity, occasionally getting pieces of the whole to the point where we can say “This… this says something about what we are trying to achieve here”. To you, those are the trailers and screenshots and podcasts; and trust me: we look forward to those moments as much as you do. We look forward to them because those are the times when we get to share our creations with the world, little islands of appreciation in the marathon between ship dates. We create so that you can enjoy, and I hope that everything I do is enjoyed by someone or I wouldn’t make it.

Being able to say that I am working on Halo 4 is fantastic. I came to 343 Industries because Halo CE made me want to make games for a living, and I wanted to create the next installment of this fantastic franchise. We’ve still got a lot of work to do, but for now I’m happy we were able to share our teaser trailer with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed sharing it.

WATCH THE TRAILER HERE

Canuckleheads No More

It’s actually unhealthy how much happier I am when the Canucks win. Seriously… I think I have a problem. Should my life really be this caught up in whether my team puts some rubber in the other teams net more times than they do in ours?

Yes, dammit! I’ve waited 33 years for this. Years of disappointing ends to seasons, years of shifting attention to the draft (how you doing Edmonton?), and years of thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I live long enough I’ll get to see the Canucks hoist the cup. And now with the Canucks only 2 wins away is seems like an eternity ago that I literally hucked my couch across the room in disgust (sadly it wasn’t an eternity ago, it was in the first round. Erika can attest; it wasn’t my proudest moment).

And here we are: Best team in the regular season, momentum building through the playoffs, full of grit, skill, heart, and laser-focused on getting Vancouver their first cup. Did I mention we’re 2 wins away? I am… wait for it… optimistic. How can this be? Normally cheering for this team has less “happy optimism” and a lot more “tennis racket to the groin”. If I had to sum up the experience of cheering for the Canucks over the last 3 decades in a single YouTube clip, it would be this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdFW-hrGX7g

So why the sudden optimism? Why have the fans changed their outlook from the fear and dread that plagued us in previous years? I’ll tell you why: we’ve come to the collective realization that this whole year hasn’t been about hyperbole. All of those “We believe in the guys in this room” and “One game at a time” quotes we’ve been getting all year… they meant it! Somewhere along the way Vignault got it into this team’s heads that the reason you say those things to the media is because that’s the right mindset. It’s what you do if you want to win. And so the fans are responding. If the players believe in themselves as strongly as they seem to, well, the fans can do it too.

Go get ‘em guys. Bring us home our cup.

90 Days of Blogging

As mentioned previously, Erika and I just ran a marathon. Yay! Now the bad news: I haven't gotten off my ass since. Seriously, this is a problem! Sure, I've played a couple hockey games and some basketball, but there is a definite theme in my life consisting of "If there is a goal I will train my butt off. If not... meh".

Let's look at the history:
- Trained regularly for a half-marathon in 2003. Ran 9 times in the 8 years following.
- Trained religiously 6 times a week for the last 5 years of my judo career, then switched to eating cheese as my principle defining characteristic post-retirement.

I need goals people! This is part of the reason why this blog has been so abysmally spotty, without a concrete commitment to get my mojo running (like the Ladies Only football pool) my mind tends to wander. Next thing I know it's 1am and I'm browsing the Internet for rutabaga recipes even though I couldn't pick a rutabega out of a police lineup if it mugged me.

So to solve the aforementioned problem, I'm doing some goal-setting in a public forum. That way if I slip you all can hold me accountable. I figure that since I'm hella better at sticking to athletic goals than I am to mental ones, I'm a gonna link 'em!

This all leads us to P90X, the framework for my plan. By the way, if you haven’t heard of P90X let me assure you: I have never felt more douchey than when discussing this fitness program. It's basically just a bunch of workout videos that you do over a period of 90 days, with the unfortunate side-effect of making you sound like an utter knob (and the “X” stands for “eXtreme”. I am not making that up). What I actually DO like about this thing is that they say it is hard, and you will work your butt off. That has a much better ring of validity to my ears. Plus, I know several people who've done it and swear by it so what do I have to lose?

How does this tie into blogging? Well, for all 90 days of the workout program I'm going to write something to this blog every single day. And I'm not going to subject you to a day by day retelling of the workouts because, well, I want you to actually read this blog. Sure, I might take inspiration from something I've done in the program, but the goal is to work out the brain along with the body. We'll see how I do.

I did my first workout today… see you tomorrow!